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Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Jun, 2017

Much of communication happens through your body. Your body expresses beliefs, emotions, needs, and attitudes. You respond to and track body language throughout an interaction whether consciously or subconsciously.

There are some common body postures that you likely recognize at the conscious level. The gesture of arms and legs crossed and head turned slightly away, is typically perceived as resistance or disinterest. But if you asked the person sitting this way about it, you might hear something like, "I am sitting like this because I feel scared and angry, but it doesn't mean I don...

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Submitted by Sarah Peyton, May, 2017

I have shared before that my mother was fractured by trauma. Her reflections of me shifted every time she blinked. I had the luck in college to receive four consecutive letters from her, each about the same subject: what she thought about me and friendship. In the first, she wrote, “Sarah, you have no friends.” In the second, she wrote, “You have so many friends.” In the third, “You are a person who only has one friend at a time.” And in the fourth, “I don’t understand how you can have so many close friends at once.”

Strange though it may seem, this particular series of letters was...

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Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Apr, 2017

Meeting someone's need to be heard usually means going beyond just hearing the content of what is said. You know this and you recognize times when you have a sense of really being heard. But when it comes asking someone to hear you, you may struggle with a clear request.

When someone "gets you", a lot is happening all at once. They let their heart be affected by you. They allow themselves to feel their own caring, grief, joy, or fear while all the while giving you their full attention.

Attending to you in this way it's almost as if they can follow your perception of something...

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Submitted by Bryn Hazell, Apr, 2017

At a recent practice group the metaphor of a tennis court came up during an exploration of someone’s feelings and needs about a particular relationship. We drew a picture of a tennis court on our white board and used it to get clarity about which side of the court is ours to play in a relationship.

It brought me back to when I was first learning NVC. The workshop facilitator asked me about my needs in a situation. I said something like, “I just want to understand why he’s angry and says such nasty things to me.” And the facilitator tried again, “and when that happens, what needs do...

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Submitted by Gary Baran, Mar, 2017

I believe that many people were initially drawn to NVC because of the hope it offered for improved relationships with family and friends, and that most have found it helped improve those personal relationships, including the relationship with themselves. Some have been able to apply it in their workplaces, improving personal relationships with co-workers, employees or employers. But my impression is that relatively few have explored how NVC might be applied to contribute to far more complex systemic social change.

If I become aware that some system—for example the retributive...

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Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Mar, 2017

Long ago, when I was 19 years old, I was in my college cafeteria, going through the buffet line with my tray. A young man in my German class, a person that I had admired, asked if he could speak with me for a moment. My heart leapt. Now maybe the experience of making friends, maybe even of having a boyfriend, would begin. I liked him. Maybe he liked me.

I took my tray to his table, anticipating good things. Instead, the young man told me that I was difficult to have in class, that I was moving too fast, taking too much of the teacher’s attention, and hindering the rest of the class...

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Submitted by Sally Marie, Feb, 2017

Empathy As Resistance: Adversaries Shouldn't See Trump As A Monster by Steven Wineman

“What I’m saying is this is fresh,” quipped Stephen Colbert after Donald Trump's first solo press conference as president. “It must be fresh because you can smell it ... This press conference — it's still steaming. You can warm your hands over this pile.”

Colbert is hardly alone in his impulse to denigrate Trump. We are...

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Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Feb, 2017

There are many ways to make the world a better place and you likely have one or two favorites. For your favorite cause you have likely researched the topic, attended groups or workshops, and done your best to live by the tenets of that cause.

Perhaps the more you learn, the more you see how extensive the problem is and how important change is if we are to avoid disaster. You may feel angry, frightened, grief stricken, and desperate wanting to make the world safe and healthy. Hopefully you receive empathy for your pain around the situation and seek the wisdom of others about what...

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Submitted by Gary Baran, Feb, 2017

On the second anniversary of the death of Marshall Rosenberg I find myself recalling times I spent with him and considering the enormous and ongoing impact our relationship has had on my life. I’ve also been speculating about how he might have viewed what’s been happening lately in our country and throughout the world, and what I and others can do to insure his legacy.

I worked closely with Marshall during the years I was the executive director of the Center for Nonviolent Communication (1998-2006). I am deeply grateful both for the many hours I spent with him in workshops and also...

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Submitted by Bryn Hazell, Dec, 2016

We are excited and inspired thinking of the thousands of people throughout Oregon and Southwestern Washington sharing, learning and practicing Compassionate / Nonviolent Communication -- all of us seeking a world where everyone's needs matter and are met!

In 2017 we will reach out to all of you to see if we can get a "census" that will give us an idea of just how many people are being touched by NVC through practice groups, classes, workshops, presentations and other forms. More information will be in our upcoming newsletters. We hope you will be willing to collaborate.

With...

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