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Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.

Submitted by Gary Baran, Mar, 2019

10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal, and Organizational Peace

  1. Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.
  2. Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
  3. Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.
  4. When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.
  5. Instead of saying what we DON'T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.
  6. Instead of...
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Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Mar, 2019

I have been sitting here for 20 minutes, too ashamed of my own memories to even begin to write. It’s easy enough to write about having been bullied. In first grade, every day while waiting for the bus after school, a sixth grade girl would gather her friends around me in a circle so that the playground attendant couldn’t see what was happening, and she would punch me once, viciously, in the solar plexus. Then they would all dissipate and I would be left in pain, already dreading the next day. And I would try not to cause any trouble about it all, and be nice to that girl, because she was...

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Submitted by Sally Marie, Feb, 2019

From Eugene photographer Gina Easley:

This just blew my mind. The Sun magazine (March 2019 issue) published my photo of a man sitting at the Empathy Tent (which can be found at our Saturday outdoor market here in Eugene). At the time I took the photo I didn’t get his name, and didn't know the name of the group that runs the tent, so I've been hoping to figure out a way to find him to give him a copy of the magazine. Yesterday one of the Sun readers sent me an email inquiring about the photo and mentioned that there is a stuffed giraffe next to the man in the photo and that the...

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Submitted by Bob Wentworth, Feb, 2019

In graduate school, I became an expert on lasers, devices that produce intense beams of exceptionally pure light. So, it's only natural that I sometimes use lasers as metaphors for how our minds work. I find the metaphor useful in understanding why some of us suffer as much as we do, and in charting a course towards more delightful ways of being.

To make a laser, you take a transparent substance that has been engineered to amplify light, and you put mirrors around it. A material that can amplify light will also spontaneously produce small amounts of light. When a tiny bit of light...

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Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Jan, 2019

You know arguing is painful and doesn’t go anywhere, but you can’t stop yourself. You hear your own tense voice pushing your view and negating the other person’s view. You repeat yourself while getting louder, knowing all the while that it’s not helping. Afterwards, you feel hurt and exasperated. You long for a way through that is easy and connected.

Mostly, arguments like these arise and repeat because neither you nor the other person trust that needs will be heard and honored. Without this trust, you hold tightly to your opinion about how things should go. You think you have the...

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Thich Nhat Hanh on Compassionate Listening

Submitted by Sally Marie, Jan, 2019
By Opray Winfrey interview with Thich Nhat Hanh
From Opray Winfrey Network (OWN)

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says listening can help end the suffering of an individual, put an end to war and change the world for the better. Watch as he explains how to practice compassionate listening.

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Jan, 2019

When someone you love is facing a big challenge, you naturally want to help. Unfortunately, it is not always clear how to help. When it is something practical or physical, you might feel relief at knowing exactly how to contribute. When it is something emotionally complex, it’s not as easy to know how to offer support.

To complicate matters further, often your loved one doesn’t know what to ask for or what would be helpful. If there is reactivity in the mix, you are aware of not wanting to escalate it, but, at the same time, you know you want to help.

There is no simple...

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The Art of Mindful Communication: Living Your Values

Submitted by Sally Marie, Jan, 2019
By Oren Jay Sofer
From Talk-It-Out Radio

In these extraordinarily polarized times, what would it be like if people could truly hear others and speak their minds in a clear, kind way, without becoming defensive or going on the attack? Join Talk It Out Radio’s host and Oren Jay Sofer, meditation teacher and communication trainer, the author of a new book, “Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.” for an engaging conversation about Oren’s work and new book.

The Best Bad Book Ever Written

Submitted by Sally Marie, Dec, 2018
By Ben Dolnick
From Medium

The most useful book I’ve ever read — the one I would hand to a newly landed alien, if he had room for only one book in his alien-pouch — happens also to be the most mortifying. It’s a self-help book called Nonviolent Communication, and it’s about how we can communicate better, whether at a bar or in bed or across a negotiating table. Its author, Marshall Rosenberg, died nearly two years ago, and everyone who cares about the tricky business of getting along with people ought to (gently) raise a glass in his honor.

Submitted by Alex Censor, Dec, 2018

"Why" questions vs. "what" questions

I once worked with one client on the phone and by e-mail. He was having a painful series of encounters with his five year old about various conflicts (such as getting up to go to school, etc.)

He asked me a couple of times "why does she do that" and made clear he had asked her the same.

I passed on to him one tip I picked up from Marshall -- that "why" questions have a different (and often less lifeserving) dynamic than "what" or "how" questions and gave him some examples of the difference.

(Very relevant, also, was my own...

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