Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.
Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says listening can help end the suffering of an individual, put an end to war and change the world for the better. Watch as he explains how to practice compassionate listening.
When someone you love is facing a big challenge, you naturally want to help. Unfortunately, it is not always clear how to help. When it is something practical or physical, you might feel relief at knowing exactly how to contribute. When it is something emotionally complex, it’s not as easy to know how to offer support.
To complicate matters further, often your loved one doesn’t know what to ask for or what would be helpful. If there is reactivity in the mix, you are aware of not wanting to escalate it, but, at the same time, you know you want to help.
There is no simple...more...
In these extraordinarily polarized times, what would it be like if people could truly hear others and speak their minds in a clear, kind way, without becoming defensive or going on the attack? Join Talk It Out Radio’s host and Oren Jay Sofer, meditation teacher and communication trainer, the author of a new book, “Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.” for an engaging conversation about Oren’s work and new book.
The most useful book I’ve ever read — the one I would hand to a newly landed alien, if he had room for only one book in his alien-pouch — happens also to be the most mortifying. It’s a self-help book called Nonviolent Communication, and it’s about how we can communicate better, whether at a bar or in bed or across a negotiating table. Its author, Marshall Rosenberg, died nearly two years ago, and everyone who cares about the tricky business of getting along with people ought to (gently) raise a glass in his honor.
"Why" questions vs. "what" questions
I once worked with one client on the phone and by e-mail. He was having a painful series of encounters with his five year old about various conflicts (such as getting up to go to school, etc.)
He asked me a couple of times "why does she do that" and made clear he had asked her the same.
I passed on to him one tip I picked up from Marshall -- that "why" questions have a different (and often less lifeserving) dynamic than "what" or "how" questions and gave him some examples of the difference.
(Very relevant, also, was my own...more...
When you hear someone say they work in a toxic organization, it may seem to you that the only choices you have are to agree and collude, to disagree and argue, or to minimize and try to change the topic. Ugh, these aren’t life-giving choices. Unless you are able to offer empathy and the other person is able to receive empathy, conversations like these lead to disconnect and a sense of bind.
When a label or judgment attempts to describe the quality of something, it is simply an indication of someone’s perception. Hearing someone say that an organization is toxic doesn’t actually tell...more...
In 2008, I joined the ORNCC Board to participate in the planning of the “Leading a Non-Violent Life” 3-day conference at the University of Oregon. It featured Marshall Rosenberg, Rev C.T.Vivian, close colleague of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr, and Julia Butterfly Hill. My role during the conference was to assist Julia Butterfly Hill, a pleasure and a privilege. Mostly I made sure she had plenty of best quality drinking water in her glass jar.
I left the Board about a year later and returned in 2012. I’ve been the secretary for the last 5 years. Questions about meeting minutes? Check...more...
“It’s a beautiful day” is never the truth, although I may feel thrilled and am inspired when I see light coming through clouds in just that way.
If you’re standing next to me, and looking in the same direction, you might have that kind of experience, too, or maybe not. Maybe your attention is elsewhere, for example on the latest political newscast. And I’m OK with that.
I am weaning myself of “It” so I can experience my life more fully. I hope you’ll join me in that even if you don’t notice the light coming through the clouds in this moment.
Some of you may have heard of and have interest in the experimental plan to enhance spread of NVC. It was called the New Future process (NFP), and the entity it was to manifest called NVC-0.
This process was started about 5 years ago. One group working on was called the Implementation Council.
In April of 2017 the CNVC Board sent a letter to the NFP Implementation Council describing a significant change in the relationship between CNVC and the NFP.
I am posting the Board's full letter below for any interested.
I personally and many others were relieved and...more...
- Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella bought all the members of his senior leadership team a copy of the book "Nonviolent Communication" in 2014 when he took over the company.
- At the time, Microsoft was known for having a culture of hostility, infighting, and backstabbing.
- "Nonviolent Communication" preaches compassion and empathy in communication, and it has lessons that apply beyond the boardroom.