When someone you love is facing a big challenge, you naturally want to help. Unfortunately, it is not always clear how to help. When it is something practical or physical, you might feel relief at knowing exactly how to contribute. When it is something emotionally complex, it’s not as easy to know how to offer support.

To complicate matters further, often your loved one doesn’t know what to ask for or what would be helpful. If there is reactivity in the mix, you are aware of not wanting to escalate it, but, at the same time, you know you want to help.

There is no simple...

When you hear someone say they work in a toxic organization, it may seem to you that the only choices you have are to agree and collude, to disagree and argue, or to minimize and try to change the topic. Ugh, these aren’t life-giving choices. Unless you are able to offer empathy and the other person is able to receive empathy, conversations like these lead to disconnect and a sense of bind.

When a label or judgment attempts to describe the quality of something, it is simply an indication of someone’s perception. Hearing someone say that an organization is toxic doesn’t actually tell...

“It” sucks.

“It’s a beautiful day” is never the truth, although I may feel thrilled and am inspired when I see light coming through clouds in just that way.

If you’re standing next to me, and looking in the same direction, you might have that kind of experience, too, or maybe not. Maybe your attention is elsewhere, for example on the latest political newscast. And I’m OK with that.

I am weaning myself of “It” so I can experience my life more fully. I hope you’ll join me in that even if you don’t notice the light coming through the clouds in this moment.