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Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.


When Empathy isn't Received

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Aug, 2018

Have you ever tried to offer someone empathy only to see it bounce off of them? Sometimes it's as though your guess hits a force field. The other person responds to your empathy guess by telling their story again, analyzing, or by criticizing.

You'd like to connect to their heart and share in their experience, not just in the thoughts and opinions. At this point, you might go along politely and avoid talking to that person in the future. Or, if it is a more central relationship, you might move into your own thoughts and judgments and hear yourself say, silently or aloud, something...

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The tender, terrifying truth about what happened inside the Trader Joe's hostage siege

The tender, terrifying truth about what happened inside the Trader Joe's hostage siege

Submitted by Sally Marie, Aug, 2018
By Robin Abcarian
From LA Times
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Complicating the Narratives

Complicating the Narratives

Submitted by Sally Marie, Aug, 2018
By Amanda Ripley
From Solutions Journalism Network

What if journalists covered controversial issues differently — based on how humans actually behave when they are polarized and suspicious?

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Defining Intimacy

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Jul, 2018

True intimacy, as defined in the frame work of Mindful Compassionate Dialogue, lives in a container of acceptance, mutual care, mutual respect, and healthy differentiation. You can "feel close" to someone through a rush of love chemicals, enmeshment, or a trauma bond, but these kinds of experiences typically involve meeting some needs at the cost of many others and are not sustainable over time.

Intimacy is something that grows and deepens over time, when each person is able to experience and trust a sense of acceptance, mutual care, and mutual respect. In this case, sharing one's...

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School Shootings Must STOP! The Answer is to Teach Compassion in Schools!

School Shootings Must STOP! The Answer is to Teach Compassion in Schools!

Submitted by Sally Marie, Jun, 2018
From PRWEB

Genesis Young and Sulara James have created a petition to teach Non-Violent Communication in Schools which they believe will help stop violence and create a more peaceful society.

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Stopping Gun Violence In The U.S. Starts with Us

Stopping Gun Violence In The U.S. Starts with Us

Submitted by Sally Marie, Jun, 2018
By Psyched in San Francisco
From HuffPost

“Us vs. Them” is the poison this American culture is pumping out and ingesting on every level of our society and we are all ill from it.

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Broadening the Conversation: Gun Violence, Masculinity, and Being Vulnerable

Broadening the Conversation: Gun Violence, Masculinity, and Being Vulnerable

Submitted by Sally Marie, Jun, 2018
By Oren Jay Sofer
From BayNVC

When there were no policy changes after the Sandy Hook murders, where 20 six- and seven-year olds and six adults were killed at the end of 2012, I felt angry, then worried, then numb. I thought, if elementary school students being mowed down can’t provoke sweeping changes, what will?

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When Honest Expression Loses its Way

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, May, 2018

One of the most empowering aspects of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is discovering that you have needs and learning how to make requests regarding them. Unfortunately, a new found enthusiasm to say what is true for you can sometimes overshadow the purpose of NVC. When the purpose of NVC is lost, your "Honest Expression" can slide into a platform for expressing judgments and reactivity.

The purpose of NVC is to create a quality of connection in which there is a natural giving from the heart. To cultivate this quality of connection both you and the other person are working to be...

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Responding to Anger

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, May, 2018

When a friend begins to angrily talk about someone else, you likely feel torn. On the one hand, you know that under the anger, your friend is feeling some version of hurt, scared, and/or sad and so you want to offer support. On the other hand, your own integrity and care for others comes up when you hear harsh judgments. You don't want your willingness to listen to be construed as agreeing with judgments of others or the situation and you don't want encourage violent speech.

The most helpful place to start is with self-connection. Ask yourself if you have the resources to be a...

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Try Translating To Compassionate Communication!

Submitted by Bryn Hazell, May, 2018

Although it certainly is helpful when the person I am communicating with has some Compassionate (Nonviolent) Communication skills, I find that I can usually connect with someone by what I call “translating” what they are saying to Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Translating means I guess their feelings and needs. If my guess isn’t accurate, the person will let me know, and then I can connect with whatever feelings and needs they are experiencing.

For example:

Them: “She’s impossible to talk to. Everything’s a fight with her.”
Me: “Frustrating?”
Them: “Tiring!”...

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