I first encountered Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in the late 1990s.
Learning that feelings were pointing to needs met/unmet was like a lightning bolt for me; it was the missing piece that finally made everything make sense. I'd always believed that Thriving was our birthright. NVC showed me that our feelings guide us to the Life-Needs that are our pathways to thriving.
NVC also helped me understand that my anger was just letting me know I had long-unmet needs aching to be met. There wasn't anything wrong with me, and I didn't have to feel ashamed of my feelings. I just needed to learn how to answer the Call to Thriving.
But it got even better. In 2013, I learned essential elements of Relational Neuroscience and Attachment Theory that, when integrated with NVC and my Thriving Life principles, finally explained some of the stuff I'd been struggling to understand for decades, like:
* why we can't "do NVC" when we're upset
* what "stress" really is, and why it's so dangerous for both our physical health and our relationships
* why compassionate, authentic, resonant community is essential for our well-being, and is central to our capacity for growth and genuine fulfillment
* what really, truly dissolves our automatic reactions and restores authentic presence and choice
* why it's so dangerous to have compassion for others without also developing healthy boundaries and care for ourselves
* down-to-earth ways we can expand our capacity for presence and authentic choice, regardless of circumstances
* how to connect with our deepest authenticity and natural power and genius, and become free to make the difference that only we can make in the world
This work has helped me come home to being human, and given me the unspeakably precious gift of being able to share "this being human" with you and others in a way that fulfills all my dearest dreams for authentic, attuned connection.
I live and practice everything I teach. My deepest passions are profound authenticity, compassion, and responsive accountability, offering a deeply safe, gentle living model of how we -- as both flawed and transcendent human beings -- can co-create a deeply nourishing world and relationships that recognize the practical realities of being human, while truly honoring and supporting everyone's thriving.
There is no pain that we can't turn into food for the heart and medicine for the soul, if we just keep practicing what works, in human connection.
I'm been so blessed to be a part of our Thriving Life community that welcomes everything we are -- from what is most magnificent to us, to our "warts and farts and ugly crazy parts" -- to be fully Seen, Gotten, and Celebrated.
Welcome home to this journey into Thriving!