Article Intro

Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Aug, 2019

Ever say something you think is innocuous, like: "I thought you were coming to dinner," and see the other person react as though you had just fired a missile of criticism? After the initial shock of seeing them react, you soon find yourself sucked into a vortex of defending and explaining.

When you say something the listener typically only hears 8% of the content of your words. Facial expression, body language, tone of voice, and what's going on for the receiver fill in the rest. This leaves ample space for miscommunication, confusion, and assumptions.

Given the complexity of...


Disgust, Contempt and Self-Hate

Submitted by Sally Marie, Aug, 2019
By Sarah Peyton
From Empathy Brain

We take in the brains with which we are most closely connected, as if they were our own.

Abusive Relationships and Nonviolence

Submitted by Sally Marie, Aug, 2019
By Miki Kashtan
From The Fearless Heart

“If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.” — Longfellow

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Aug, 2019

The desire to invite more shared vulnerability within a relationship or group usually arises from a longing to meet needs for intimacy, mutuality, being seen and heard, empathy, or community. You might find yourself sharing your struggles with someone, but they don't share about themselves. Or perhaps you would simply like to cultivate more intimacy in a particular relationship through shared vulnerability.

Inviting another forward into shared vulnerability means creating a safe space in which what they share is met with attentiveness, curiosity, and compassion. This is more...


NVC and the UN's Sustainability Development Goals

Submitted by Sally Marie, Jun, 2019
By Alan Seid

This was in the context of a larger event titled "Unlocking Your Emotions to Achieve the Sustainable Development Goals" — which brought together presenters from the fields of Mindfulness, Emotional Intelligence, and NVC.

Submitted by Alex Censor, May, 2019

A hopeful, though rare, and possibly good example of how in normal political exchanges it might be possible to both stay our of labeling and model how to distinguish between observations and personal judgements.

I found it interesting the others who shared Booker's goals and values seemed attached to wanting to label and even critisized Booker for not wanting to engage in labeling

Cory Booker 'less concerned' with calling Trump a racist
Mar 01, 2019, Simpsonville, S.C. — New Jersey Sen. Cory Booker responded Friday to critics who believe he...


The Zero Step

Submitted by Sally Marie, May, 2019
By Jim Manske
From NVC Nextgen

“The Zero Step: What we do before we open our mouths influences what happens next!

“Know what you want before you open your mouth.” -Marshall Rosenberg, developer of Nonviolent Communication

Submitted by Gary Baran, Mar, 2019

10 Things We Can Do to Contribute to Internal, Interpersonal, and Organizational Peace

  1. Spend some time each day quietly reflecting on how we would like to relate to ourselves and others.
  2. Remember that all human beings have the same needs.
  3. Check our intention to see if we are as interested in others getting their needs met as our own.
  4. When asking someone to do something, check first to see if we are making a request or a demand.
  5. Instead of saying what we DON'T want someone to do, say what we DO want the person to do.
  6. Instead of...
Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Mar, 2019

I have been sitting here for 20 minutes, too ashamed of my own memories to even begin to write. It’s easy enough to write about having been bullied. In first grade, every day while waiting for the bus after school, a sixth grade girl would gather her friends around me in a circle so that the playground attendant couldn’t see what was happening, and she would punch me once, viciously, in the solar plexus. Then they would all dissipate and I would be left in pain, already dreading the next day. And I would try not to cause any trouble about it all, and be nice to that girl, because she was...

Submitted by Sally Marie, Feb, 2019

From Eugene photographer Gina Easley:

This just blew my mind. The Sun magazine (March 2019 issue) published my photo of a man sitting at the Empathy Tent (which can be found at our Saturday outdoor market here in Eugene). At the time I took the photo I didn’t get his name, and didn't know the name of the group that runs the tent, so I've been hoping to figure out a way to find him to give him a copy of the magazine. Yesterday one of the Sun readers sent me an email inquiring about the photo and mentioned that there is a stuffed giraffe next to the man in the photo and that the...




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