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Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.

Broadening the Conversation: Gun Violence, Masculinity, and Being Vulnerable

Submitted by Sally Marie, Jun, 2018
By Oren Jay Sofer
From BayNVC

When there were no policy changes after the Sandy Hook murders, where 20 six- and seven-year olds and six adults were killed at the end of 2012, I felt angry, then worried, then numb. I thought, if elementary school students being mowed down can’t provoke sweeping changes, what will?

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, May, 2018

One of the most empowering aspects of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is discovering that you have needs and learning how to make requests regarding them. Unfortunately, a new found enthusiasm to say what is true for you can sometimes overshadow the purpose of NVC. When the purpose of NVC is lost, your "Honest Expression" can slide into a platform for expressing judgments and reactivity.

The purpose of NVC is to create a quality of connection in which there is a natural giving from the heart. To cultivate this quality of connection both you and the other person are working to be...

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, May, 2018

When a friend begins to angrily talk about someone else, you likely feel torn. On the one hand, you know that under the anger, your friend is feeling some version of hurt, scared, and/or sad and so you want to offer support. On the other hand, your own integrity and care for others comes up when you hear harsh judgments. You don't want your willingness to listen to be construed as agreeing with judgments of others or the situation and you don't want encourage violent speech.

The most helpful place to start is with self-connection. Ask yourself if you have the resources to be a...

Submitted by Bryn Hazell, May, 2018

Although it certainly is helpful when the person I am communicating with has some Compassionate (Nonviolent) Communication skills, I find that I can usually connect with someone by what I call “translating” what they are saying to Nonviolent Communication (NVC). Translating means I guess their feelings and needs. If my guess isn’t accurate, the person will let me know, and then I can connect with whatever feelings and needs they are experiencing.

For example:

Them: “She’s impossible to talk to. Everything’s a fight with her.”
Me: “Frustrating?”
Them: “Tiring!”...

Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Apr, 2018

I grew up in the interior of Alaska. The colors there are beautiful and strange: dusky black-teal spruce trees, brilliant orange and pink sunrise and -set, white snow, and blue-black-gray shadows from the moon. I know the forest floor there, the bright red berries, the different mosses and lichens, the peeling birch bark and bursting aspen, the dirty-cream of puffball mushrooms, the curling fuschia of fireweed and then their white seedy fluff. I know what it feels like to step on the peat, to dig in red-brown clay, to sink into the powder of the snow up to my calves. It is the landscape of...

Submitted by Robert Gonzales, Apr, 2018

"I have learned that human beings are not searching for philosophies, even though it may seem that way sometimes. We are searching for something we can trust. And when we find ourselves in the midst of change, the philosophies are like a broken crutch. They do not hold us up. What supports us is a force, an energy, a vortex of love that expresses through us as warmth, creativity, service, and compassion." -- Stephen Schwartz

My deep inquiry in life has led me to develop practical pathways of living in the fullness and flow of life as a daily spiritual practice--what I call...

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Apr, 2018

Your survival depends on intimacy. As Thomas Lewis talks about in his book, "A General Theory of Love", an infant's life depends on intimacy with a caregiver to regulate basic physiological and emotional functioning. This regulation through connection continues throughout life.

However, if you are like most people, you have had formative experiences in which you moved toward intimacy and got the message that it wasn't okay and possibly that it was dangerous. At some point in becoming more and more intimate with a partner or other close person in your life, these previous experiences...


What Makes a Compassionate Man?

Submitted by Sally Marie, Apr, 2018
By Kozo Hattori
From Greater Good Magazine

What does it take to foster compassion in men? To find out, Kozo Hattori interviewed scientific and spiritual experts.

Submitted by Bryn Hazell, Jan, 2018

What an exhilarating experience to review the results of the 2017 ORNCC Census we initiated about a year ago. We launched the Census because we wanted to get a sense of how and where NVC is being utilized in Oregon and SW Washington State, and we are thrilled and encouraged to see the breadth and depth of its use. We are deeply grateful to those of you who responded.

We heard from: therapists, counselors, teachers, mediators and health practitioners who utilize NVC in their work; individuals who practice self-empathy and NVC with friends, family and co-workers; people who study...

Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Dec, 2017

Do you wake up at 3am in a cold sweat, suddenly remembering your regrets and worries? Do anxiety and agitation flood you when the alarm clock goes off in the morning? Do you have the sense that your body’s fuel is cortisol, and that you spend your days managing burning tension, shame, anxiousness, exhaustion and low-grade dread and horror?

This struggle with anxiety is so common that it is almost the air we breathe in our industrialized world. There are personal, moral, political, global and spiritual issues overwhelming almost everyone. In such a world, what does Nonviolent...




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