Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.
Many years ago, I heard a drug rehab counselor say, "Detachment is a means whereby we allow others the opportunity to learn how to care for themselves better.” I felt confused and disturbed. I was a parent. My teenage child’s life and our family were being ravaged by her struggle with drug and alcohol use. Was I being told I shouldn’t try to stop her from using drugs and alcohol? That I shouldn’t try to protect her from herself or try to control her recovery? I had heard about this “loving detachment” before and it sounded like a self-protective form of abandonment.
Nick was a model prisoner in his last decade at Oregon’s maximum security prison. In for armed robbery, Nick had begun to turn around his life of drugs and violent crime before joining NVC as a student in the yearlong program. Over a period of five years, mentoring under a Certified NVC trainer, he mastered NVC and became an instructor in Oregon Prison Project’s Peer Training program. In his final year at the penitentiary, he appeared to me as confident yet humble in his leadership role.
Nonviolent communication can help transform society.
Here are five tips for how to find balance in relation to the news cycle.
We here at Wise Heart are excited to offer practical skills for personal transformation and thriving relationships to people around the world. Already, we are reaching folks in Romania, India, Israel, Portugal, and numerous other countries around the world. In the last two years, we have been able to offer four new major venues for learning and transformation:
- The Wise Heart online community and membership program! We are excited about creating greater...
Attraction to others arises for all sorts of reasons. In and of itself it is neither good nor bad. It is often pleasurable but doesn’t necessarily help with wise discernment. When it arises, it is up to you to engage in wise discernment about how you manage it. When you are clear that it is something you would like to set a boundary with, mindfulness is an essential skill.
For example, let’s imagine you are at work and a new co-worker comes around the corner. Something about this person is immediately attractive to you. Noticing that you find them attractive you have a choice. You...more...
When you think about screaming at someone in anger, you probably imagine a barrage of criticism and blame. If you value kindness, you likely don't want to scream at someone in this way and at the same time you know anger is a valid feeling and you want to express yourself and stand up for your needs.
While yelling and screaming isn’t pleasant for anyone and can have a painful impact on another’s nervous system, if this is something you find yourself doing, it is still better to share your experience responsibly in that raised voice, rather than make demands, blame, and criticize. It...more...
In 2017, retired high school math teacher Bob Brown and his wife Elizabeth (also a retired teacher) discovered the Empathy Tent during an event in Los Angeles and found their calling in retirement. The Empathy Tent—a pop-up canopy set up in public spaces— encourages constructive dialogue among people with different views to de-escalate and connect. It was started by San Francisco Bay Area resident Edwin Rutsch, the founding director of the Center for Building a Culture of Empathy.
Ever say something you think is innocuous, like: "I thought you were coming to dinner," and see the other person react as though you had just fired a missile of criticism? After the initial shock of seeing them react, you soon find yourself sucked into a vortex of defending and explaining.
When you say something the listener typically only hears 8% of the content of your words. Facial expression, body language, tone of voice, and what's going on for the receiver fill in the rest. This leaves ample space for miscommunication, confusion, and assumptions.
Given the complexity of...more...