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Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.

What Makes a Compassionate Man?

Submitted by Sally Marie, Apr, 2018
By Kozo Hattori
From Greater Good Magazine

What does it take to foster compassion in men? To find out, Kozo Hattori interviewed scientific and spiritual experts.

Submitted by Bryn Hazell, Jan, 2018

What an exhilarating experience to review the results of the 2017 ORNCC Census we initiated about a year ago. We launched the Census because we wanted to get a sense of how and where NVC is being utilized in Oregon and SW Washington State, and we are thrilled and encouraged to see the breadth and depth of its use. We are deeply grateful to those of you who responded.

We heard from: therapists, counselors, teachers, mediators and health practitioners who utilize NVC in their work; individuals who practice self-empathy and NVC with friends, family and co-workers; people who study...

Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Dec, 2017

Do you wake up at 3am in a cold sweat, suddenly remembering your regrets and worries? Do anxiety and agitation flood you when the alarm clock goes off in the morning? Do you have the sense that your body’s fuel is cortisol, and that you spend your days managing burning tension, shame, anxiousness, exhaustion and low-grade dread and horror?

This struggle with anxiety is so common that it is almost the air we breathe in our industrialized world. There are personal, moral, political, global and spiritual issues overwhelming almost everyone. In such a world, what does Nonviolent...

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Nov, 2017

There are myriad ways that you can disengage your listening and bring the focus back to yourself. One of the most common is to express that you have the same feeling as the speaker, e.g., "I feel that way too!" Sometimes this is connecting and sometimes it distracts you from what the other was saying. For example, your partner expresses their disappointment around missing intimacy with you and you say, "I miss it too, you know." This "me too" response can trigger a sense of competition or blame. You both might start gearing up for an argument about who has been wrong or who is suffering...

Submitted by Robert Gonzales, Nov, 2017

I am feeling deep gratitude and inspiration as I write this.

The other day, I received a warm and thought-provoking note from Mary Mackenzie about the NVC Academy's annual Telethon. While reading her note, it suddenly came to me that she and Mark Schultz and myself and many others have been living and breathing and being present to this work with Nonviolent Communication for many, many years now.

It struck me deeply that the paths of ALL our lives have been profoundly influenced by Marshall Rosenberg.

Perhaps the same is true for you — perhaps you too would have...

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Oct, 2017

Do you ever wish you could get a little more breathing room with your partner? From your perspective, they move in so close that you wish you had a snorkel so you could get a little air.

Your partner on the other hand is feeling hurt wanting more intimacy and is receiving your request for space as a form of rejection or lack of caring. You notice this conflict repeating itself in little and big ways. You want to be able to ask for space and know that your partner trusts your caring. Your partner on the other hand, is longing for you to come closer without having to ask.


Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Oct, 2017

Sometimes you identify a need in yourself or hear someone else name a need and you get a funny feeling like something isn't quite right. The need named, makes sense logically, but something in your gut says something is off. Or, you are in a dialogue and you both have named your needs and negotiated requests, but the issue doesn't feel settled.

If you have been working with universal needs for a while you have likely found that in any given situation there are layers of needs alive for you. Sometimes needs seem to take the role of strategies to meet other needs. This creates a...

Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Sep, 2017

Article by Taylor A. Wolf

As NVC continues to develop from the beautiful seeds that Marshall Rosenberg planted, it has moved in a number of directions. The work of Miki Kashtan has taken the nonviolent consciousness of NVC directly into processes with systems and groups. Some practitioners meld Nonviolent Communication with approaches like focusing for deep self-connection and self-discovery. And the branch that Susan Skye and Sarah Peyton have spent years nurturing right here in Oregon, the integration of Nonviolent Communication with relational neuroscience, with a...

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Jun, 2017

Much of communication happens through your body. Your body expresses beliefs, emotions, needs, and attitudes. You respond to and track body language throughout an interaction whether consciously or subconsciously.

There are some common body postures that you likely recognize at the conscious level. The gesture of arms and legs crossed and head turned slightly away, is typically perceived as resistance or disinterest. But if you asked the person sitting this way about it, you might hear something like, "I am sitting like this because I feel scared and angry, but it doesn't mean I don...

Submitted by Sarah Peyton, May, 2017

I have shared before that my mother was fractured by trauma. Her reflections of me shifted every time she blinked. I had the luck in college to receive four consecutive letters from her, each about the same subject: what she thought about me and friendship. In the first, she wrote, “Sarah, you have no friends.” In the second, she wrote, “You have so many friends.” In the third, “You are a person who only has one friend at a time.” And in the fourth, “I don’t understand how you can have so many close friends at once.”

Strange though it may seem, this particular series of letters was...




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