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Trainers are invited to write lessons, tips, and experiences with NVC.

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Nov, 2016

When faced with suffering and loss it is natural to feel grief. Like any emotion, grief by itself is not a problem. It is simply something that flows through you when you allow it. Grief naturally has its own beginning and ending. You don't have to go looking for it. Your job is to allow grief by pausing, giving it your full attention, breathing through your heart, and focus just on the feeling and tears as they move through.

Unfortunately, you likely live in a culture that undervalues grief and mourning. Other than funerals you may have no grief and mourning rituals to engage in on...

Submitted by Sally Marie, Nov, 2016

An essay by Charles Eisenstein, author & speaker.

Normal is coming unhinged. For the last eight years it has been possible for most people (at least in the relatively privileged classes) to believe that society is sound, that the system, though creaky, basically works, and that the progressive deterioration of everything from ecology to economy is a temporary deviation from the evolutionary imperative of progress.

A Clinton Presidency would have offered four more years of that pretense. A woman...

Submitted by Sally Marie, Oct, 2016

Whether you knew Marshall intimately or you never had the pleasure to meet him, I imagine you will enjoy this succinct summary of Marshall's life and work as presented in a 28 minute interview of Tony Hawks, a well known British comedian as part of a series about "Great Lives" which aired in August/September 2016 on BBC.

Submitted by Bryn Hazell, Oct, 2016

Ah, fall. It’s my favorite time of year… the cooler, crisper mornings; the spectacular red and yellow shimmer of leaves, the slant of the sun that turns things golden and soft. I am suffused with a joy that seems to reach every cell of my body. One of the great gifts of NVC for me is this being present for and letting in the wonderful that surrounds me.

I think of myself as having a physical and emotional “capacity” tank. Stress, worry, challenging experiences, disconnection and confusion can reduce the level of my capacity tank. Acknowledging needs met and practicing those things...

Submitted by Bryn Hazell, Sep, 2016

"When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don't stoop to their level. No, our motto is, when they go low, we go high."

Those are Michele Obama's words spoken during her speech at the Democratic National Convention. And it got me to thinking, what does it look like to "go high"?

I hear those words encouraging us to respond to name calling, insults, labeling and other disconnecting communication by following the practice of Compassionate Communication and connecting to our values.

If someone calls me "stupid" for my opinions, I could say...

Submitted by Selene Aitken, Aug, 2016

Privilege. That’s the big word in much of the NVC trainers’ world. Some of us have taken online courses and joined in groups to learn how to become allies for people of color. Others also participate in conversations on how to deal with the distress of having privilege in the face of wanting everyone’s needs to matter equally.

The population of my town, Ashland, is white and economically and culturally, mostly middle class. Thanks to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival (OSF) and the university, some, not many, people of color, primarily African Americans, live and work here. Recently,...

Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Jul, 2016
  1. Are you more aware than others of subtleties in your environment?
  2. Is there some agony for you in simply existing in this world?
  3. Are beauty and precision food for your soul?
  4. Do you need to manage your environment carefully to care for your emotional body?
  5. Do you experience the world being too fast, too loud, too messy, too bright?

In mammals, 20% of any population is especially sensitive. In humans, there is a particular cluster of sensitivities that runs in concert: being sensitive to external stimuli (noises seem louder, colors and...

Submitted by Sarah Peyton, Apr, 2016
  1. Are you very self-aware?
  2. Are you thoughtful?
  3. Do you enjoy understanding details?
  4. Are you interested in self-knowledge and self-understanding?
  5. Do you tend to keep your emotions private?
  6. Are you quiet and reserved around large groups or unfamiliar people?
  7. Are you more sociable and gregarious around people you know well?
  8. Do you learn well through observation?

How was it to read through these questions? Did you answer “yes” to any of them? Or were they all “no’s”? Most people answer with combinations of yesses...

Submitted by Gary Baran, Apr, 2016

Suppose someone unfamiliar with Nonviolent Communication asks you about it. What might you say to that person (in 40 words or less) that you think might convey the essence of NVC and possibly inspire them to learn more about NVC?

Two experiences I had with Marshall may be helpful to you in crafting a response. The first was a recommendation he made during an IIT in 1996 that the less time we have available to make a presentation about NVC, the greater proportion of that time be allocated to hearing from the other person(s), and then responding to the needs we heard. The second was a...

Submitted by LaShelle Lowe-Charde, Apr, 2016

Most things that you want to learn fully require transformation on multiple levels. Knowledge and understanding the concepts is not enough for true mastery. The same is true of Compassionate Communication (NVC). It can easily be misused by those with only a superficial understanding. Over the years I have read or heard people talk about how NVC is actually violent, manipulative, or otherwise flawed. Unfortunately what's usually happening there, is someone has simply learned enough to do what they have always done, but just with a new vocabulary. This is painful and confusing for everyone...




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