We start out in life without the tools to cope with the intense feelings that emotional withdrawal, violent communication or physical trauma stimulate. Nor do we have the tools to begin to identify our needs and find strategies to meet these needs. Compassionately admitting to myself I was repeating a pattern I learned from my family of origin (reaching back several generations at least) was the first step. That self-honesty started my self-empowered path to connect more authentically to my feelings, identify my needs, and meet my needs.
Learning to set healthy boundaries, including leaving and recovering from an abusive relationship, was one of the greatest challenges in my life. It was like kicking the most addictive drug – avoiding what I felt absolutely compelled to do.
Whether a romantic partner, family member or employer, when I was experiencing repeat abuse in relationships it was because of what I was doing. My actions did not warrant abuse, no one deserves abuse, yet I was making unconscious choices that led me into and kept me in the cycle. My own patterns were keeping me from meeting some of my most essential needs.
In this Introductory Workshop we will:
- Get the empathy, self-compassion, and understanding you need to fight for what you’re most longing for.
- Learn to communicate your thoughts clearly, and understand the difference between requests & boundaries.
- Discover the ability to easily set appropriate boundaries and stick to them.
- Start developing the courage and self-confidence needed to leave an abusive relationship if necessary.
- Learn to take accountability for your actions, and untangle from your partners.
- Get tools to decrease making assumptions and buying into your stories or obsessive thinking.
- Increase your ability to get clarity discerning whether you need to end your relationship or get the help you need to move through and break the cycle.
- Support grief, mourning and healing around losses you have experienced from losing yourself in this pattern.
I have been practicing and sharing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) since 2003 as part of my passion for building stronger relationships, (focusing on, though not limited to, Couples and Parenting,) while developing more integrated and sustainable communities. Teaching NVC has been central to my life since 2010 and I have been working with the Kathleen Macferren, Karl Staeyert, and the rest of the core team on the Trainer Community Certification Path (TCCP). I completed my NVC Trainer Certification with CNVC in 2016.
As a Rose City NVC Teacher Training Program (TTP) participant, I have co-taught NVC classes with Fred Sly, and have facilitated Rose City NVC's Foundations and Integrations Classes and Tuesday night NVC Practice Group for the last 4 plus years. I have taught NVC at Oregon State Penitentiary, Columbia River Correctional Institution, the Reentry Transition Center in Portland, and currently teach at Coffee Creek Correctional Facility (for Women). Simultaneously, I have participated in the Trainer Community Certification Path (TCCP) intensives since 2011, and have co-taught NVC classes with LaShelle Lowe-Charde. I also currently offer Individual and Couples Coaching to my greater Portland community.
My personal NVC journey includes many other forms of spiritual work with an emphasis on meditative and body awareness practices. I integrate practices which allow me other avenues to touch the essence of our NVC work. While I believe the words and the form on NVC can help my participants touch into a place of greater compassion and understanding, I also believe that holding a space of compassion and understanding in myself creates ease in adopting the new words (silently and out loud) for my participants. My spiritual outlook related to NVC is to align my daily will in progress towards unconditional love, acceptance, non-judgement, and spaciousness. My vision for an NVC world is that one day most adults will hold this type of unconditional and loving space most of the time supporting each other in the hard times and the development of those still growing so we can be present to more of each moment on this earth.