Support Your Recovery!
When a strategy to meet a need (often ease, comfort, safety) is repeated over and over it becomes a habit. When a habit is continued despite a growing mountain of unmet needs we collectively label that an addiction. Breaking that habit and forming a new pattern, a new way of life, a new freedom is recovery. Recovery can be from drugs/alcohol (alcoholism), gambling, sex (sexoholism), people pleasing (co-dependency), shopping, working (workaholism), and many other behaviors/strategies/choices.
Recovery can be both one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences in life. Many of us never quite learned how to swim down the river of life because we had the life vest of our addiction to turn to – it might be restricting our movement but it is keeping us afloat too.
I once heard a woman in recovery say “When I was in my addiction, it was like every problem I ran into, anything I had to deal with, I just threw in to the back of my dump-truck of life and kept driving. I was dragging it all around with me but I never looked back there. When I got into recovery it was like I slammed the breaks on and that whole pile came crashing down on my head.”
We view that “pile of problems” as largely a need for mourning and closure around the unmet or untended needs in ourselves and the experience those around us had while we were “in our addiction” or choosing the same strategy again and again despite seeing some tragic results.
So why do some of us go through the 12 Steps or other recovery programs and get a new lease on life, while others appear to be in more misery than ever (sometimes called “white knuckling it”) – or anything in between? We believe one of the keys is including the emotional brain (including an empathetic awareness) in the recovery process – this is not a replacement for the program you are in – this is a little outside help to support your work and help you find more of the promises that make sticking with your recovery a joy.
In this workshop we will develop practice skills to super-charge our recovery:
- Practice a meditation techniques proven effective for building capacity.
- Cover the evidence based empathetic approach to self-inventory (what some of us call a “4th Step”, but applicable to anyone)
- Learn how to make an amends more meaningful and reduce the chance of harm to others.
- Practice emotionally intelligent reflective listening, a new tool for all of life and powerful when working with others.
I have been practicing and sharing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) since 2003 as part of my passion for building stronger relationships, (focusing on, though not limited to, Couples and Parenting,) while developing more integrated and sustainable communities. Teaching NVC has been central to my life since 2010 and I have been working with the Kathleen Macferren, Karl Staeyert, and the rest of the core team on the Trainer Community Certification Path (TCCP). I completed my NVC Trainer Certification with CNVC in 2016.
As a Rose City NVC Teacher Training Program (TTP) participant, I have co-taught NVC classes with Fred Sly, and have facilitated Rose City NVC's Foundations and Integrations Classes and Tuesday night NVC Practice Group for the last 4 plus years. I have taught NVC at Oregon State Penitentiary, Columbia River Correctional Institution, the Reentry Transition Center in Portland, and currently teach at Coffee Creek Correctional Facility (for Women). Simultaneously, I have participated in the Trainer Community Certification Path (TCCP) intensives since 2011, and have co-taught NVC classes with LaShelle Lowe-Charde. I also currently offer Individual and Couples Coaching to my greater Portland community.
My personal NVC journey includes many other forms of spiritual work with an emphasis on meditative and body awareness practices. I integrate practices which allow me other avenues to touch the essence of our NVC work. While I believe the words and the form on NVC can help my participants touch into a place of greater compassion and understanding, I also believe that holding a space of compassion and understanding in myself creates ease in adopting the new words (silently and out loud) for my participants. My spiritual outlook related to NVC is to align my daily will in progress towards unconditional love, acceptance, non-judgement, and spaciousness. My vision for an NVC world is that one day most adults will hold this type of unconditional and loving space most of the time supporting each other in the hard times and the development of those still growing so we can be present to more of each moment on this earth.