It can be maddening to find yourself going around and around with your partner over the same issues. You need a way to break out of the dynamic that leaves you feeling disconnected.
What goes wrong?
You and your partner are suddenly disconnected and arguing about missing a turn while driving. The content is trivial, but there is something important underneath, if only you could name it. Mindful Compassionate Dialogue helps you name the real issues and address them effectively. The real issues are universal: love, respect, understanding, being heard & seen, caring, consideration, trust, intimacy — to name a few. Unfortunately these are communicated indirectly; for example, “You never listen to me!” could be more directly communicated like this: “Hearing you give me advice, I feel frustrated because I want to be heard. Would you be willing to tell me what you are hearing me rather than giving advice?”
“I can categorically say that our marriage is stronger after having taken your classes.”
— Student (Portland, Oregon)
What to expect:
An introduction to Mindful Compassionate Dialogue.
- Practice using skills with your partner and opportunity for questions.
- There will be no small group work in this workshop so you won't need to share anything about your relationship with me or with the group.
- You will only be working with your partner in structured exercises.
- You will hear common questions and concerns from other couples that you give you a sense of acceptance and normalcy for the issues you and your partner face.
- You will receive a handout that will help you continue to practice at home.
The objectives for the workshop are:
Walk away with an experience of the power of empathy and understand how it differs from other offerings of support such as sympathy, consoling, educating, and problem solving.
- Get a glimpse of how identifying the universal values/needs in a conflict can release you from stuckness, and help you find a new way forward.
- Learn about a major source of reactivity called "tender needs," and how you can learn to prevent and manage reactivity.
LaShelle Lowe-Chardé is passionate about helping people express their deepest values in their relationships and creating clarity and connection with self and others.
She began her professional career with a master’s degree in school psychology. In addition to nine years in public schools, she spent several years facilitating group healing work for adolescent youth labeled “at-risk”. During that same time she led leadership and teamwork trainings for businesses and organizations around Portland, Oregon.
Along the way she found Compassionate/Nonviolent Communication (NVC) and began training with Marshall Rosenberg and other internationally known NVC trainers. She immediately knew that Compassionate Communication was the missing piece. It offers a deep and broad yet simple understanding of human nature along with a concrete set of tools to help us act and live from a place of clarity and compassion. For LaShelle, Compassionate Communication is the hands and feet of spirituality. In 2006, she was certified as a NVC trainer.
In addition to certification in Nonviolent Communication, she has completed a three year training in Hakomi - Body Centered Therapy and introductory trainings in Emotionally Focused Therapy and with the Gottman Institute.
In 2004, she founded her business, Wise Heart (www.wiseheartpdx.org). Since that time she has served as a trainer, private coach, and mentor for the learning and practice of Compassionate Communication and mindfulness. LaShelle teaches locally as well as through video conferencing online. She has offerings for couples, women, and the general public in addition to trainings for local nonprofit organizations. Her offerings focus on combining NVC with mindfulness and a subtle understanding of reactivity and relationship skills.