One of the ways our enculturation into a “power over” culture shows up in our personal lives and public discussions is the confusion about relationships with children. Too often teachers, counselors, administrators, parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, social workers, and everyone who spends time with children are faced with a false dichotomy – structure or connection. Sometimes this comes up in conversation as “people are too permissive with kids these days” and those working with children find themselves flip-flopping back and forth between an empathetic connection where they complain kids are “walking all over them” and a power-over relationships where they are grasping to maintain control but “the kids they work with won’t talk to them” or when they do they are “constantly lying” to them. But there is hope.
By applying the spirit of power with that NVC embodies we can create structure and stay in our integrity while growing trust and connection with children. It is not particularly difficult (no harder than the dangerous dance of “fighting” or “giving-in”) and incredibly rewarding. It has been shown in research that one honest empathetic connection for a child can be the inspiration to learn self-connection and have healthier relationships – and it doesn’t have to be someone who the child spends a lot of time with, or a parent (although that sure doesn’t hurt!) When we listen, care for a child’s needs, care for our own needs, model respect and self-respect, and set living boundaries we create an example and environment that can help steer a child toward a richer fuller experience of life. Let’s explore this together and be part of supporting a healthier happier world!
In this workshop you will get to explore practicing NVC with children!
We will:
- Explore the different stories about children and expectations that can keep us in reactive loops
- Learn to hear the tough messages children share and self-sooth so you can show up in integrity
- Make requests of children in a power with way that respects your needs
- Understand the importance of taking a “long view” – how the “worst moments” are the best “learning opportunities”
- Practice interactions relevant to your life with support in worksheets and role plays.
Individual and Couples Coaching, Mediation and Training
I started my practicing and sharing Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in 2003 as part of my passion for building stronger relationships, (focusing on, though not limited to, Couples and Parenting,) while developing more integrated and sustainable communities. I completed my NVC Trainer Certification with CNVC in 2016.
I've been gifted by the experience of bringing NVC into the Oregon State Penitentiary, Columbia River Correctional Institution, the Reentry Transition Center in Portland, and at Coffee Creek Correctional Facility (for Women). I currently offer Individual and Couples Coaching, mediation and various trainings to my greater Portland community and globally via zoom. Having been a Rose City NVC Teacher Training Program (TTP) participant myself, I'm now excited to offer this same opportunity (as sole proprietor of Rose City NVC), to other teachers in training.
My personal NVC journey includes many other forms of emotional/spiritual growth work with an emphasis on meditative and body awareness practices. I integrate practices which allow me other avenues to strengthen the essence of our NVC work. While I believe words and the form on NVC can help my participants get into a place of greater compassion and understanding, I also believe that holding a space of compassion and understanding in myself creates ease in adopting the new words (silently and out loud) for my participants. My spiritual outlook related to NVC is to align my daily will in progress towards awareness, acceptance, action and sharing the gifts I've received from this work. My vision for an NVC world is one in which most adults will hold this type of unconditional and loving space most of the time, supporting each other in the hard times, and in continued healing and growth, so we can be fully engaged to more of each moment on this earth.