Also known as Compassionate Communication, Nonviolent Communication (NVC) emphasizes compassion as the motivation for action, rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, threat or justification for punishment. Founded by Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., NVC is a language and consciousness of compassion. This communication style can dramatically improve our relationships by helping us:
- Clearly recognize what triggers us; develop and nurture compassion for ourselves, even when we do things we regret.
- Express ourselves honestly in a way that's easier for others to hear and respond to supportively.
- Empathically understand and connect with others without compromising our own values... even when they say / do things we don't like or understand.
- Tap into the creative potential of "power with" by finding solutions that consider everyone's needs equally.
For over 35 years, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg has been sharing the language of compassion throughout the world. From the war-torn states of Rwanda, to state penitentiaries around the U.S., to public schools in Oregon, Marshall Rosenberg's Language of Compassion has helped contribute to a shift in consciousness from reliance on violence and domination systems to a new paradigm of interconnectedness.
NVC delineates four components of communication:
- Observations free of evaluations;
- Feelings free of perceptions or judgments;
- Needs, values and longings; free from assumptions and expectations;
- Requests expressed clearly in positive action language; free from demands.
The use of NVC doesn't require the recipient of our communication to be literate in NVC, or even motivated to relate to us compassionately. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed, rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion. Through its emphasis on deep listening - to ourselves as well as others - NVC fosters respect, attentiveness and empathy, and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.
The NVC process is described more fully in Marshall Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, available through the Center for Nonviolent Communication, ORNCC, public libraries, and in many bookstores.
NVC is shared internationally by Marshall Rosenberg and over 100 certified NVC trainers through the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC), and supported by hundreds of grassroots regional or statewide NVC groups like ORNCC. For more information about the Center for Nonviolent Communication, NVC, groups and contacts in other areas, and NVC work in specific areas such as education, parenting, social change, restorative justice and other topics, visit the CNVC website.
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